Negotiations, especially in business, are typically set up to feel quite adversarial - but this ... [+]
Michiel Koopman is the head of trading and commercialization for the Northern Europe Region of Google, as well as the founder of the Het Spieghel Instituut. With a successful career in business and media negotiations, Koopman joined Negotiate Anything to share the biggest reasons why deals fail and tips for greater success.
Reason #1: Failure to Lead With Empathy
Negotiations, especially in business, are typically set up to feel quite adversarial.
“Some people think negotiating is like arm wrestling - there is a winner and there is a loser,” Koopman explained.
Because of this mentality, negotiators will go into a discussion focused solely on their perspective, their wants and their needs. This zero sum mentality (where only one person wins) also leads people to act tougher and, sometimes, more aggressive. To demonstrate empathy or consideration for your counterpart feels like a weakness.
While this is a natural response, based on how we have been socialized to think about business and negotiations, Koopman argues that we would have a greater chance of success if we took a moment to consider the other perspective.
Not only can you build a positive rapport, but understanding the other person’s position is sure to help you negotiate your own position better.
So with that in mind, he recommends asking questions to gain insight into your conversation partner's values or interests.
From there, he encourages professionals to be sure to remain open to the responses and the possibilities they may hold.
Reason #2: Failure to Build Relationships
Koopman recalled scenarios where because of his failure to actively consider his counterpart’s perspective, an immediate deal may have gone through but the long-term relationship didn’t take off.
Relationships can be everything in business, so they should be a priority (in addition to landing the current deal).
“When I think about the deals that I do, all of the relationships are longer-term,” Koopman said.
While nurturing relationships will take more time and effort, the end results will be worth it.
It’s always great to secure a good deal, but our goal should be to secure the best possible deal. Relationship-building can make the difference between the two.
Reason #3: Failure to Check Your Ego
“We all have egos, we want to be important and appreciated,” Koopman shared, “but it’s not always our role to play at that point.”
In essence, ego is a natural part of the human experience. When seeking to “win” or obtain a certain outcome, it’s easy for ego to dominate our thinking patterns, but this can be dangerous.
Our egos create a bias within us, where we become even more certain that our position is correct and our thinking is clear, when that couldn’t be further from the truth.
It’s more important to negotiate with a sound logical mind, and this requires emotional intelligence and management of your emotional triggers.
To slow down our ego and move back into a logical mindset, manufacture a break or quick pause in the conversation. This can be done by stating that you need some time to process or by simply responding with an open-ended question for the other side - giving you more time to think about what a strategic response should be.
Negotiations are difficult, as we’re often stuck trying to manage expectations, needs, values, emotional triggers, organizational dynamics and more - for both ourselves and our counterparts. That said, in acting too quickly - we can leave money or opportunities on the table.
These strategies can take time to implement, so Koopman encourages all negotiators to remain patient and compassionate with themselves.
“No need to overthink all of this stuff,” he said, encouraging listeners. “Sometimes you need to just try and fail - or win. Otherwise you won’t get anywhere.”
To learn more, follow Michiel Koopman on LinkedIn. To listen to the complete episode, click here.
